Editorial

She doubted. Standing in front of the mirror in the dressing room, she had stopped hearing the other women telling her to hurry. Her eyes were fixed on her image. She looked, thought about it, looked again, and doubted. It was happening again; the same thing which had started around 4 years ago. Every time she wanted to take the lead, to raise her voice, to do anything new, she couldn’t help it; she doubted. A voice was stuck in her head saying, “What are you doing? Don’t you see there surely are people better than you? Why are you wearing that? Did you really think it would look as good on you as it did on the mannequin?”

 

However, she had a smile on her face most of the days. She had many friends she could trust and rely on. She had loving parents and a caring family: she had never known abandonment. She was always surrounded by, as far as one can judge, honest and supportive people. Yet there was something missing. How come she could sometimes feel lonely in a crowd, in a party, or in a family gathering? Why did she constantly feel the need for approval? Why did she get so inexplicably anxious whenever she heard someone mention her name? All of a sudden, a million questions build up in her mind; she starts feeling the world spinning around her, way too fast to keep up with its pace. “Stop it!” she tells herself. She better get back to reality, continue with her day, and ignore her doubts; back to the routine.

 

Her parents had told her several times to stop being afraid, and she had reasons to. If she had the courage, she could be a class representative, cheerleading captain, and a singer all at the same time. In fact, she could be anything she wanted, for her talents and potential could take her anywhere if only she acknowledged them. Nevertheless, she was blind to them.

 

How could she fill that emptiness she felt? Clothes, parties, friends, boyfriends. Those were her solutions, and convinced about it she kept searching for them. Buying one thing at a time, dressing one way at a time, for years… 

 

She has been buying and taking pictures for such a long time, she now can’t recall what she is looking for. 

 

This could easily be anyone’s story. In fact, it can’t be ignored that this has been part of the life of many. It is no surprise how the insecurities, fears, and doubts feel relatable to us; we all have experienced them at some moment, and we will certainly have to deal with them in the future. In this same way, people tend to solve their problems from the outside: by getting approval within society, they feel allowed to approve themselves. However, most of the time this term: ‘approval’ is generalized. It will never be the same for one to accept him or herself, than for one to seek validation through others’ opinions - hence, ignoring the personal opinion’s unique value.

 

Now, it has to be admitted that dealing with private decisions in everyday life is already hard by itself. It is fairly common to have conflicts with oneself and to brood over them, finally asking for help. This is positive, but only as long as the person’s own decisions remain as the priority. In the end, it is that person’s life which will be affected: it is not to be lived by somebody else. It may seem easier at first to just go with the flow, but as time passes by, the person starts feeling as in a prison, in which he or she could never express themselves. 

 

Then, certainly, there is a way to avoid it, precisely what the woman in our story missed throughout her life: self-love. It is just as important as romantic or family love, or even more. Why? Throughout anyone’s life the role they develop, and then how happy they are with it, depends on the value it is given: to be satisfied with it and aim for the better. Nonetheless, this can’t be true if someone does not love themselves, including their goals, dreams, and work. With this, nothing they do will be appreciated. Similarly, nothing anyone else does or buys will complete their perception of themselves. Clothes, money, or fame will bring superficial and momentary joy, but they will never create love towards oneself;  only satisfaction.

 

This takes us to the inevitable need for self-love, which includes both someone’s strengths and weaknesses. Without them, as without every birthmark, freckle, or every inch of skin each one is made of, the uniqueness of life would be lost. In a world that tries to replace love and happiness with Instagram likes and followers, self-love is on demand.